Scotch Missed

Scotch Egg

Scotch Eggs have been banned from many schools in the country following several incidents where children have been wounded. The Scotch Egg, an egg coated in meat and breadcrumbs, has become the weapon of choice for youngsters. The savoury treat is ideal for throwing at friends, family and/or enemies as it’s cheap, hard and versatile.

Some children choose to eat the meat surrounding the egg for energy and just throw the egg square in the face of their victim. Some opt to make a small hole in the exterior of the Scotch Egg and insert a filling before launching their offensive attack. The creative fillings have included cream cheese, cement and faecal matter.

Government officials have down-played the dangers of “Scotch Egging”, claiming the attacks are rightly just in certain cases and they claim the ban has only popularized the savoury food weapon.

While many teachers and parents support the ban in schools others claim it is not enough. The growing concern for parents now is that, although the eggs are being confiscated on the school grounds, the kids may just continue the attacks out of school hours. A further ban is being called for on all Scotch Eggs, a move which has angered responsible Scotch Egg lovers. An age restriction to be placed on the foods has been considered.