Severe Blood Warning!

A man was forcibly removed from the offices of a well known TV station this morning after reportedly trying to rid the building of vampires.  Norris Ferratu of Finchley was dragged through reception screaming and raving about his firm belief that all weathermen and women are undead, bloodsucking supernatural beings. How he came to this conclusion is unclear. Lets look at the facts;

Weather presenters are seldom seen outdoors on sunny days

Weather presenters often have scary eyes

Weather presenters know very little about the weather

Weather presenters never mention garlic

Weather presenters get from outdoor broadcasts back into the studio with uncommon speed, turning into a bat could explain this

Weather presenters cast no shadow on the map behind them

Weather presenters wear the kind of suits that people are buried in

Nobody knows where Weather presenters are buried

Weather presenters seem to outlive all the other news presenters but show little or no sign of ageing

Weather presenters hunch and gesticulate like a beastie

On balance, Mr Ferratu may have a point!  As a precautionary measure the Haddock’s weather team will be summarily pelted with garlic, bathed in UV light and forced to stand in front of mirrors! You never can be too careful.