When thinking about entertainers who make the world a considerably worse place to raise children, most immediately go for the garden variety Snooki’s, Bieber’s and Boo Boo’s. However we at The Haddock believe there is a worse human curse plaguing society: the apex fuckboy, Shia Labeouf.
From his fuckboy plagiarizing of actual creative people, to his fuckboy Twitter rants, to his fuckboy drunken headbutting fuckery, Labeouf has earned his position as High Priest of the Fuckboy Tribe.
Of course it’s a well-known fact that fuckboys are ruining have been ruining both the film industry and the rest of society for years. What can we, the good people of the general public, do to stop these parasites? Here are a few ideas:
1. Cease in consuming all fuckboy media and any other related purchasable fuckery.
2. Disregard the day-to-day activities, observations and opinions of those displaying fuckboy characteristics.
3. Put Shia Labeouf into a travel bag and ship him away to Fuckboy Island, East of Java.
Perhaps, like a merry fuckboy pied-piper, Labeouf’s exile could inspire the rest of his horrible type to relocate as well. Imagine a world free of arrogant pseudo-intellectual hipsters with Transformers money. Some might call that a minor form of utopia.
To be completely clear, the purpose of this article is to articulate the fact that Shia Labeouf is an unsurpassable fuckboy. Feel free to throw your computer out of a window now if you should so desire.