StarWars VII to be filmed on Mars!

StarWars VIIDue to a spat between JJ Abrahams and some other people whom he doesn’t like, the entire production, crew, actors, rubber things and canteen will be flown to Mars this January.

Mars has much to offer those making space films because it is in space and that should save money (most of which will be spent flying everyone over there).

Abrahams, who still believes there are sand people living on the red planet despite the complete absence of toilet rolls, has already sent his camera man on ahead to scope out some shots and speak to the locals (three robots belonging to NASA), who have been most congenial apparently.

This could never happen of course had the the film rights not been bought by Disney.

Disney has so much money that, at one point, there was a plan to have Mars towed back here but that was axed at the last minute because the gravitational upheaval would most likely have wiped out all life on Earth…but it was on the table!

One way trip!

Sadly, as with all current Mars missions it will be a one way trip, with the film being electronically beamed back to Earth while everyone else freezes to death and suffocates in giant sand storms and clouds of carbon monoxide.

All the actors are said to be very excited about this opportunity which, apart from costing them their lives, will at least ensure a healthy pension fund for loved ones and some nice photos for their Facebook pages.

Starwars VIII will be filmed in the town of Corby in the UK which has been described by its own tourist board as bearing a ‘post-apocalyptic’ ambience.

Can’t wait for that JJ (or whomever replaces your frozen carcass!)