Hyper-competitive Welsh vegetable growers have resorted to extreme measures to try and win the county cup. A group of green fingered enthusiasts from the village of Clobber in Monmouthshire have been caught red handed spying on their competitors using what can only be described as a “Stealth Kite”. The canvas structure 40′ x 40′ is deployed at night with a gardener slung beneath it holding a camera. It is so quiet that nobody can hear it silently gliding over the neighbouring allotment (in the village of Sockmouth). Nobody is sure how long this behavior has been going as it has only recently come to light. Sockmouth Cauliflower Surgeon Jethro A Nonny-nonny explains what he saw; “Dunno,” he said.
Full of curiosity the Haddock camped out in the allotment last week and sure enough, around 1am in the morning we were awoken from our drunken stupor by a series of flashes. Photo’s taken by us revealed convicted carrot worrier; Clifford Dribble, slung beneath the contraption by his braces. He was taking photo’s of the competitors vegetables with an ordinary flash camera.
The police were called in but were unable to press charges on account of the fact that vegetables are not entitled to privacy under existing EU legislation. A lawyer representing four aubergines and a basket of sugarsnap peas has already launched an appeal against this ruling. If this challeng is successful it could open the door to a landslide vegetable defamation legislation.