The French Minister for the Environment announced today that Badgers in the country are to rounded up and forcibly sterilised in a bid to reduce their numbers.
Jacques Le Mon said, “Ve erd ze brits are innoculating ze badger so ve though ve would go one better and give zem ze chop! After all ve are fed up with ze badger having all the fun and in zees days of strikes and austerity zey seem to be getting far more zan us. It eez not right.”
UK animal rights campaigner Jessica Woollen responded agrily to the statement saying, “This is a ridiculous move on the part of the French government. It is clearly an blatent attempt to divert public attention from the current economic crisis at the expense of the poor badger! While there may be a pressing case for forcible sterilisation
of the French President, they should leave the badgers alone!”
The French public have reacted to the news with complete indifference as badgers are well known to have no interest in grapes, garlic, onions or truffles and therefore pose no immediate threat to everyday life.
This story rectifies the fact that the search ‘badger’ on The Haddock website revealed no results! A quite untenable situation.