A man in Whitstable has died from a bowel tornado. Police were called to the Loaf & Fetlock Inn, on Twinkle Hill in the early hours of yesterday morning where they found the remains Benny Twogg-Pumphrey were found spread over a wide area. It is believed that a vacuum formed somewhere inside his lower intestine leading to a vortex-like wind which tore him apart from the inside. Punters reported hearing a sound not unlike a helicopter taking off before they were pelted with various pieces of the unfortunate Mr Twogg-Pumphrey’s person and last meal. ‘Yes it is quite unusual’ admitted the coroner, ‘But he did have a fondness for tripe and Gouda … I believe they used that to make TNT during the Great War, although I could be wrong.’ The cause of death was listed as a twisted bowel.