Suicide Fried Chicken!

Suicide Fried ChickenAnimal suicide is tragic, particularly if you consider the fact that they cannot leave a note so it’s impossible to discover what led them to take their own lives.

However the fact remains they’re dead, we didn’t kill them…so we might as well eat them!

An enterprising new fast food company SFC (Suicide Fried Chicken) has vowed to sell only meat from animals which have wilfully taken their own lives.

And it’s not only chicken!

“Cows top themselves all the time, where do you think we get topside beef from? Pigs are the same!” Said Benedict Pryce, CEO of SFC. “Haven’t you ever wondered why we don’t put them on top of tall buildings? They’d be showering down on us in their thousands!”

It happens folks…just because you don’t know about it, it does happen, really, yes it does!

Pryce went on to say that This is a green and humane alternative to slaughtered animals.

“Think of it like deep fried wind-fall apples!” He said.*

In this way he hopes to attract borderline vegetarians and people who don’t eat meat because of the whole ‘animal murder’ thing.

SFC will be opening branches up and down the UK over the next coming months, they claim to have a good regular supply of self-topped meat.

Haddock News were taken to a chance to taste the goods and our verdict is; well, just like all red/white/blue alternative chicken places…it’s okay but not as good as KFC!

*apples do not commit suicide!