The smug expression on the face of newly re-elected mayor of London; Boris Johnson generated so much raw ego that it was able to pull the moon closer to Planet Earth last night resulting in a spectacular lunar display.
It is believed that the moon had already begun it’s journey last week after Mr Sarkozy’s pompous and delusional outbursts during the French electoral debate during which he basically said that everyone who didn’t think he was amazing was a bloody liar!
Although this supermoon didn’t actually kill anyone it does play havoc with the tides meaning that although Mr Sarkozy is likely to lose votes from the fishing industry, is popularity with surfers is on the up and up.
Boris, who shrugged off the attention from a gigantic satellite one sixth the size of his home planet, said that he hopes to cause the remaining planets to behave in a similar fashion when he proudly waves a flag at the Borlympics later this summer.
The shadow transport minister has expressed concern over Mr Johnson’s ego however suggesting that the straw-haired toff who cycles to work farting may inadvertently use his extraordinary gravitational conceit mechanism to disrupt the flow of traffic.
Already there have been several incidents where buses and a mobile cappuccino stand were seen to orbit his torso as he pedaled down a Westminster cycle lane.
In the interests of fairness and to help maintain public order we at The Haddock hope this article will go some way towards instilling self-doubt in Bojo and prevent the moon actually colliding with Earth which would be bad, even by Tory standards.
Mr Sarkozy on the other hand, is bound to lose on Sunday which should lessen the danger still more.
In fact there are fears that his wail of acrimony may even cause a tsunami.