Syria asks Jordan to get Breast Reduction

Jordan

A spokesperson for the Syrian government has responded to criticism from Jordan by asking the model to have her heavily augmented breasts reduced to normal size. The breasts, each with their own post code, gravitational field and pre-niptual agreement have declined to comment. However Jordan herself is believed to be very upset by the comments as her breasts are very dear to her and have the added bonus, when air-lifted into a titanium push-up bra, of completely obscuring the botox wasteland known as her face. Recently the model visited the third world and used her planetary knockers to feed a village of starving subsistence farmers who’s crop had been blighted by drugged bats.

“I’ve got a face like a relief map of the Gobi Desert… I need my tits to keep it out of the public eye!” Jordan screeched whilst weeping tears of pure Mabelline juice into her macrobiotic breakfast cereal.

Syria, who is also a glamour model (with her own government) claims that Jordan’s obnoxiously gargantuan hooters have created an unfair monopoly on men’s eyes. Men’s eyes are the most important commodity in the modelling world and without them model’s would have to do real work.

“Why should I have to give up modelling because some tart has stuffed her milk bombs with sand?” Howled Syria.