Syria quakes as Obama tells UN to: ‘Talk Louder and use Bigger Flags’

UN to use bigger flags

UN to use Bigger Flags

Refreshed and raring to go after his recent re-election, Barack Obama has told the UN to up the anti in over Syria in an attempt to scare them into submission.

A leaked report from the president’s office suggests that the flags used as a backdrop to the numerous press conferences will be made twice as large.

In addition to this press conferences will now be conducted using loud halers and the UN representatives will shout their words and gesticulate wildly.

“That ought to send a clear message that we mean business!” said a UN spokesperson last night.

In addition to these draconian measures they will also be sanctioning the use of very firm handshakes, frowning and in some cases they may even resort to slamming a pile of papers down on the desk and walking out, although this has not been confirmed.

UN stooge and all round man of words not actions Kofi Annan (African for token black guy) will employ his usual ‘Neutral Stare’ when discussing the Syrian situation but as always will tell us everything except what he actually thinks.

The Syrian government are expected to capitulate entirely under this new pressure.