In today’s budget George Osbourne will announce a radical new way to save money and the health service in one fell swoop. From tomorrow onwards, all government policies and politics will be banned. Politicians will simply be required to go to the House of Commons every day and point out how crap their opposite numbers are. The Labour Party will tell the Tories they are rubbish, the Tories will blame everything on the previous government and the Liberals will sit there looking pretty and doing as their told etc.. but no policy will be discussed or created. In essence, nothing will change but at least the pretence will be gone. The only reference to politics will be the party names for wich they will now by charged an annual duty. If they can’t pay it the names will be tendered to certain third party organisations. (The Haddock understands that the BNP have already expressed an interest in buying ‘The Conservative Party’ as its new name) Meanwhile the civil service will continue to run the country as normal and the public are unlikely to notice any changes.
This bold move is expected to cut millions or even billions off the bureaucracy bill, with marked reductions in hubris, red tape, lies, excuses, and avoiding questions. A lot of stationary will also be saved. The money will be used to save the NHS and other ‘at risk’ services threatened by world recession!