The Da Vinci Show!

A sitcom is to be made featuring the Mona Lisa as a chirpy down and out hooker living in sixteenth century Venice. Here she meets Leonardo, a painter  and visionary whom she shacks up with. In the light of sequels for Blade Runner, re-makes of Get Carter and the Italian job and prequels for Star Wars, plus a load of other money grabbing art destroying pish from Hollywood, it was felt that even priceless and unique works of art could be milked for cheap profit. ‘Renaissance Bitch’ will see her dump the worthless artist after he paints a less than flattering portrait of her and move onto bigger fish. Eventually she becomes the powerhouse behind political bad boy Prince Niccolò Machiavelli.

The show is expected to open the flood gates to other priceless works being bastardised and exploited in this way. A new drama series  ‘Armless Love’ the story of Venus de Milo a broken statue and her unrequited love affair with Michaelangelo’s David, is rumoured to be in post production and a script for ‘The Ear of Living Dangerously’ about Van Gough is also in the pipeline.