Wax Jackets for Jesus

The villagers of  Bourgeois-Basset on the Wold in awoke to discover that one of their churches is now only able to admit users of four wheel drive vehicles. The controversial move by breakaway congregation ‘Scarves, brogues and wax jackets for Jesus’ aka ‘The chinless army’ have shamelessly banned anyone driving a front or rear-wheeled car unsuitable for hunting or attending polo matches into the church car park. Other measures include compulsory ownership of black Labradors, having a friend called Peregrine and buying wine that you never drink. The vicar, who drives a Ford Fiesta has been refused entry, with a result that this week’s sermon, given by Tarquin Pebble-Mahogany Twerpwater was rather imaginatively entitled ‘How to beat the sins out of your ghillie’.