The Rand Paul filibuster turns into crazy hippie drum circle

"What you're not seeming to understand is that I'm the man in this bitch right now..."

“What you’re not seeming to understand is that I’m the man in this bitch right now…”

Senator Rand Paul is a man on a mission: to cause a good deal of ruckus on the floor before John Brennan eventually becomes sworn in as director of the CIA.

That hullabaloo started out innocently enough this afternoon, but has since grown into a state of over-the-top peace-rallying. At the first hour mark, several of Paul’s personal advisers took off their suits and ties, gathered around Senator Paul, and began playing large hand drums.

“These men are playing the djembe, ladies and gentlemen!” Remarked Mr. Paul. “Maybe it’s time to do some listening, instead of pretty much everything else you’ve been doing around here for the past decade.”

But the group didn’t stop there. By the filibuster’s fourth hour there were punk rockers, fashionistas, transvestites and dudes in black turtleneck sweaters, all hanging about on or around the Senate floor. By this time, Senator Paul has been reading Henry Rollins quotes for about 45 minutes.

“’Nobody in the Klu Klux Klan needs a baseball bat upside the head; they need an Al Green record.’ That was Henry Rollins at the Barrymore Theater in Madison, Wisconsin on April 9, 2010, good people of the Senate, and I personally stand behind that ridiculously irrelevant statement!”

The filibuster love-in doesn’t show any signs of stopping. People have already begun selling beads, talking about European art exhibits, and smoking clove cigarettes in the Senate halls. On the floor, people from all walks of life are gathered, grooving out to the good vibes of the drums, and the lengthy rhetoric from Senator Paul.

People in cowboy attire, people in dashikis, people playing saxophone and people rolling cigars. They call this a “rare, awesome day in Washington.”