A Christian video game manufacturer have brought out a new interactive games console called the THEE!
They hope to temp fornicating, drug using, alcoholic money-minded kids back into the bosom of the church with a range of exciting new games, each with a message from the scriptures!
Games include ‘Confessional…final showdown!’ Players try to save their souls and destroy their sins amidst a whirlwind of temptation, evil and non-believers.
In ‘Delusion This!’ you get to chase Richard Dawkins through the labyrinth of the Vatican in with revenge on your mind.
‘Angry Words’ and ‘Angry Words II’ see you trying to get through the day without saying Fuck, shit or bollocks as your luck gets steadily worse.
‘Apostlipz Now’ is a controvercial new game where you are one of the 11 remaining Apostles (you’ve double-tapped Judas) and you’re going to try and spring Jesus out of jail…the Romans are popping up at every turn and all you have are miracles and sandles to thwart them.
‘Get behind me Satan’ Sees you face a series of scenarios ranging from a shop where the owner is blind to a sleeping teenage girl with no panties on … are you strong enough to resist?
There are many more titles, most of which guilt trip the shit out of anyone playing them and force you to constantly re-assert the fact that believing things that cannot be proved makes you a stronger person (or a bad policeman!)
Half of all profits from the device go to mending church roofs and the purchase of slightly better quality altar wine.