“There is nothing wrong with an all-male knitting circle” says Ed Sheeran

Ed, Charlie, Ben, The Coug, and that one guy who just shows up because he really likes the knitting.

Ed, Charlie, Ben, The Coug, and that one guy who just shows up because he really likes the knitting.

The life of an English pop star can be a frantic, fast-paced existence. Between conducting interviews, bathing in chocolate waterfalls and recording, every day provides it’s own set of stresses.

How does wispy teen idol Ed Sheeran handle his whirlwind schedule? Why, with a male knitting circle of course!

Ed and his friends Charlie, Ben, and “The Coug” sit around the tour bus, all wearing reading glasses and gently sucking away at hard candies. They each have a ball of yarn, a pair of needles, and a portion of completed knitting flowing out of their hands.

“Most superstars like myself enjoy wild parties and like, sex and things like that. I’m not that kind of boy really, and neither are my friends. We like pleasant chats and fluffy comforters. Let me put it this way: weather is always a hot topic for us.”

When asked what drew him and his friends to this unique stress-relieving leisure activity, Sheeran became instantly defensive. “There’s nothing wrong with the male knitting circle!” he snapped. “Everybody always has something to say, but I’m telling you there’s nothing wrong with it. We’re a bunch of dudes, and we like to do dude things, and we like to do knitting. There’s nothing wrong with it.”

The group’s latest collaborative knitting endeavor is called the Comforceptor: an oversized comforter that will serve to intercept Sheeran’s female fans (specifically ones attempting to propel themselves onto the stage during his performances via catapult).