An Image of leather elbow-patched TV presenter Jeremy Clarkson has appeared on a slice of toast according to a family in Sussex.
“The toaster popped up and there was Jezza, staring back at us!” Announced Felicity Jodpur a professional housewife. “Well, you can imagine how excited we were because nothing fun ever happens round here because we’re all practising middle-class bores you see. I don’t even have a clitoris!”
“The Whole thing’s be a massive mare!” said her less-than-impressed pseudo socialist daughter Cordelia in between Blackberry text marathons. “Clarkson is a sort of like sort of like sort of like sort of like sort of like a nightmare and he talks a wot of wubbish about fox hunting and burritos doesn’t he? It weally is the absowute limit!” she added.
Despite this, toast effigy experts have decended upon the nearby town of East-Gymkhanamiddleclasstwats-upon Valium like a mob of twitchers, hoping to catch a glimpse of the slice which is on display in the town museum.
“It’s the first Clarkson in the UK,” gasped renowned toast chaser Mungo Podd excitedly . “Last one was in an Inuit village back in 89. There was a marshmallow in the shape of James May down in Jersey last year mind you.”
The slice is expected to be sold at auction next week.