Tories to come round your house and smash your favourite toy in front of you

toys

David Cameron has launched an initiative to take all British children’s favourite toys and smash them to bits in front of them to prepare them for life in the UK. With unemployment amongst the 16-24 year olds running at 22.2% and a planned price hike on alcohol being pushed through, the tories want to start alienating young people at a younger age.
In a press statement announcing the initiative, Mr. Cameron said, “It is one of the worst times in recent history to be a young person. We are making every effort to marginalize them. £50,000 debt upon leaving university, cutting down on HND qualifications and making it to expensive for the young unemployed to drown there sorrows is a good start. But we need to start earlier. The pre-teens in this country should not be allowed to have fun and opportunities, or they will get their hopes up.