U2 and Elton John to Pen Erectile Dysfunction Musical

Flaccid JohnsonElton John - The Haddock

“Flaccid Johnson” featuring the words and music of dream team U2 and Elton John is to hit London’s west end in the autumn.

It follows the story of a man’s journey towards his first erection in thirty years.

When all hope is lost he meets fluffer, a magic mouse who instills his penis with sexual fortitude. The production features unforgettable songs such as, “Inflate my Wellington” “Sorry Darling I have no Bullets” and the rock anthem “Lift up Your Parts!”

Using his new found skills he saves the lives of an alcoholic Nun who finds herself brawling with a family of badgers over a gram of crystal meth.

Having battered the creatures with his rejuvenated member (which can also sing) he is ordained into the church and takes a vow of chastity.

It was pretty believable up until that bit but it’s got some nice tunes and the badger fight is pretty impressive.