If you’re about to go for a cigarette Stop! Why not go for a piss instead?
A series of in depth studies in both the US and UK in which thousands of subjects answered completely honestly (in return for free cigarettes) has proved that going to the toilet provides more relief than smoking.
Not only that but in most cases it is more socially acceptable!
Urination doesn’t make your breath smell, unless you do it hanging from the ceiling and although it can make your fingers yellow, a quick rinse in the sink will sort that out.
Recorded cases of legal action due to passive pissing are also very rare!
In the light of this solid and indisputable research a pharmaceutical company from Reno has started re-branding diuretics as a groundbreaking new treatment for those determined to kick the habit.
However, it’s not just the big boys who’re jumping on the band wagon.
Several small chemists in East London have done the same with extra strong laxatives although the results have been mixed.
Whilst it is undeniable that a good turd can put a smile on the face of even the most hard nosed bastard imaginable, being labeled as a social shitter can have a negative effect on one’s peers.