Video evidence of so called ‘Cornish Pasties’ being crimped incorrectly and even made across the border in Devon has taken YouTube by storm. Flying in the face of their new Appellation Controlee status, the films appear to show people ignoring the wishes of the Cornish People, no matter how unbelievable this may sound. Not only that, but there is also footage of pasties being stuffed with non traditional fillings such as kebab meat, lime jelly and the French. Cornish Pasty Tsar Mr C. Dog said he was lost for words … that is to say he didn’t say anything, just foamed at the mouth and began whittling furiously.
The same dispicable bakers shown in these films are believed to be from a company which last year sold fake Melton Mowbray pork pies containing liquorice allsorts and bottles of champagne which were nothing more than monkey urine that had been put through a Soda Stream.