Whitey Bulger’s shocking honey addiction

Whitey Bulger is not the name of a hobbit, a ringside boxing announcer from the 1930s, or an Australian who somehow found his way to the states and is now wrestling alligators in a roadside carnival.

Whitey Bulger is actually a horrible mafia man who killed a lot of people. He will be going to prison for the rest of his natural life assuredly, which is especially hard for Mr. Bulger, considering he is quite old already and is also addicted to honey.

Plastic bear-shaped syringes! Mainline access!

Bulger ingests nearly two mason jars of Georgia State Golden Bee’s Honey a day. He eats it, snorts it, and occasionally slathers it on his skin.

“It doesn’t wash away the regret of murdering dozens of people, but he doesn’t have any of that so it’s all good” claims Bulger’s attorney.

With access to honey limited in prison, a life sentence will be difficult to bear.

“We hope to at least get him a cassette tape of Mariah Carey’s song ‘Honey,’ or a stuffed Winnie the Pooh doll,” said a grief-stricken member of Bulger’s family.

Bernard Floater

Bernard Floater

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Bernard Floater Posted by on August 6, 2013. Filed under Haddock Culture, Haddock US. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.