Why the British Ninja Division Failed to Assassinate Lenin in 1918!

The 34th British Ninja Division

The 34th British Ninja Division

New evidence of a bungled attempt by a British force to assassinate Vladimir Lenin has emerged.

Towards the end of World War I the Russians decided to sign a peace treaty with the Germans and move their troops out, this didn’t exactly go down well with the British who sent their best men to try and dispatch the Bald Bolshevik.

However they made a grave mistake, instead of sending troops experienced in arctic combat they sent the recently formed and highly experimental 34th battalion ‘The British Ninjas’.

This crack team were trained in Japan and fought with razor sharp swords, throwing stars and martial arts.You might think these skills would prove useful when trying to carry ou an assassination.

However there was a problem … Archibald Cobbler, last surviving member of the British Ninja Squad explains.”Well, the bloody drummer didn’t help, and then there were those stupid red and gold uniforms… “British is best!