Women with breast implants banned from holidays

Knockers

by Mark Gregory

The British MedicalAssociation (BMA) today advised women who have received breast implants from the French company POP to refrain from flying.

A BMA spokesperson advised ‘At high altitude, there is an increased chance of rupture and to avoid breast explosions we recommend that these women do not go on aeroplanes’.

He went on to say ‘we also advise that they refrain from parachuting, helicopter rides, high impact aerobic exercise and vigorous sexual intercourse.’

Vince Cable, the secretary for trade and industry said ‘We are appalled that the French company POP showed such a flagrant disregard for health and safety. We have today learnt that instead of using medical grade silicone they utilised industrial grade blancmange, Swarfega and cotton wool balls.

The chief executive of POP defended his company by saying ‘The reason we were forced to use substitute material is because Katy Price exhausted our supplies last year’.

The editor of Health and Efficiency magazine expressed regret at the current situation. ‘We were hoping to see a bevy of buxom British babes on foreign holiday shores this year and now we will be sorely disappointed.’

The model Jordan was unavailable for comment yesterday.