X Certifi-CAT

A recent study in a cat loving village has shown that cats who come from homes where they are exposed to violence in films or computer games are more likely to join a local cat gang or take part in violent acts. The cat on cat violence and rat catching tally of cats from such homes are almost triple that of  areas in which cats are not subjected to violent images. The Government have therefore decided to syphon some money from nationwide Cancer treatment centres to set up a cinematic and game rating board who will rate all films and games before they go to market. The covers of all films and games will carry a mouse count, the higher the number of mice shown on the case the higher the violence in said film or game. People who have children are recommended to expose their pet to no more than a two mouse film, whereas higher mouse rated films and games are recommended for homes near warehouses or farm building where a good ‘catch’ rate is deemed as a positive trait in a cat. The Prime Minister today commented on his new policy saying I am proud to be part of such a positive move toward the reduction in cat related violence’. There are no plans to consider the same rating system for dogs and the PM strenuously denies that this is because he believes dangerous dogs help to reduce the local non-working population.